I am Raccoon.  I am the masked bandit raiding your guaranteed animal-proof garbage can.

          I am Raccoon.  When you moved into my home, I moved into yours.  It seemed only fair.

          I am Raccoon.  I much prefer the forest, stream, and meadow.  But if they are gone, I will take suburbia.

          I am Raccoon.  I will foil all your attempts to keep me out.  I also have the right to live.

          I am Raccoon.  I am still clever, mischievous, and wise.  My hands retain their dexterity.  I am not diminished by living off your waste.

          I am Raccoon.  I am the stealthy bandit in the dead of night.